Expectation

In expectation of His good provision
I wait, and close my eyes against the early autumn sun,
Inhaling apples, dry summer grass,
The first bite of crisp coolness,
Exhaling impatience into the sky.

I breathe deeply, filling my belly
With this last fling of sunshine before the rains return,
Expanding my ribcage,
And holding each breath down to my anklebones,
Knowing it must be released into winter.

I stretch one last summer stretch
Toward the south-drifting sun,
Preparing to curl my spine around my middle,
Ready to hibernate, pale and warm,
Waiting for spring and rebirth.

For in this spring to come, in expectation
Of His good provision, His perfect plan,
Renewing covenant, retelling story,
I will see His grace breathed out in breath upon breath,
Shining through His people Israel.

Life, into death, into life again.

Motherhood

I am so full.  Full of gratitude for this life I lead.  Full of the sweetness of baby giggles and kisses and single-word-exchange conversations.  Full of love for my sweet husband.  Full of cheesecake my sweet husband encouraged me to eat in honor of mother's day.  Just full.  But I won't burst; he helped me with the cheesecake.

I wore shoes today I haven't worn since before Mikaelin, which got me to reminiscing.  This time 7 years ago I was celebrating Mother's Day by graduating from college.  This time two years ago, we were going on our babymoon.  This time last year we dedicated our baby to the Lord.  This time next year?

Life is good.  80-degree May days full of lilac breezes and rhubarb evenings.  Community that's more like family than family.  Watching the Mikaelin Channel on the video monitor while she sleeps.  Crayon blue skies and minor home demolition projects.  Planning for the future, full of hope.  Gratitude and hope.

Genius

It's normal to think your child is a genius, right?  At least the first one?  Because we do.  Mikaelin is picking up words and associations left and right, and can say her entire alphabet when prompted letter by letter.  She can even recognize some numbers and is making connections on her own.  She's repeating nearly everything we say.  She's awesome.  And we need to start seriously devoting some cash to her college fund.

Sometimes I try to picture her as an adult.  It's kind of fun.  I would love for her to stay my tiny newborn forever, but that season's already come and gone, so instead I picture her once she's out of the toddler years and able to use logic and reason...you know, when she's in her 30s.  Not that I don't "treasure every minute;" I totally lock them in my heart to use as sentimental blackmail when she's a teenager.  I'm just so excited to see what God has for her life.  I love what God has called me to in this short span of years, and I pray that my daughter would experience such fulfillment someday.  I love my sweet girl, and am so grateful for the time that God has given me to care for her.